he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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