Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
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Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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