I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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