Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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