We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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