There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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