Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
