I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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