finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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