Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?