i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
