I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
