I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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