Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
