How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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