You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
