But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
