would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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