I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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