I'm lost and stupid without you.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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