I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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