I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize