I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
