Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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