Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
