so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
