It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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