so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
