I love black thongs
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
