So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
