I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I touched a dick in church today
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
