I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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