Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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