I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
