nut hugger
After last night, I could never be a politician.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
