i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
