so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
