I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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