just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
