Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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