He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
