Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
