That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
