why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
