Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
