I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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