I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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