maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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