Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
