i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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