erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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