I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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