No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
whose parrot is this?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
