So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize