We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
