I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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