wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The adults are the big ones right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
