the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
