Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
