i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
