why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
