I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize