I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
