So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
