I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
